A friend asked me for advice about his relationship.
He asked, “What if you meet a beautiful girl at the bar. You become friends and you start dating. Everything is so beautiful you share good times and memories together. You go places and experience new things together and are with each other all the time. Then you start having these caring feelings for her and you feel that you do actually love her. Then one day she doesn’t pick up the phone and doesn’t answer your text as often as she used to. You ask her if everything is ok but she stays
distant. She only goes out when it’s convenient for her and never compromises with your schedule.
She also starts disrespecting you and treating you wrong, belittling you and making you feel less than a man, yet, you still have love for her.
“What do I do?” he asked.
I told him to communicate with her so she knows how you feel and let her know and recognize how you see her treating you. If she doesn’t see it or get it, move on. Love her even more and let her go. Love her, so hopefully she can find love and happiness within herself. So many people cannot continue with relationships because they are scared of what can result from a failed relationship, being rejected. She might not have love for herself so she doesn’t know how to love others properly. She needs to go back to the basics and have true self-love before she continues in any relationship. There is no fault here. She is just not listening to the universe, which, in other words, are life-lessons. Maybe her parents
never made her feel loved, maybe she never learned her lessons in life that would teach her about
her self-love. So, only love her more then ever and find someone who will love you completely. There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel love or having love for others. We all deserve love – period.
He then told me “Ok, but what about if she comes back in two months and says, ‘I’m sorry for what I did, please take me back. I am truly sorry for how I treated you’ What do I do?”
I said, “it depends on you. There will also be a lesson within your decision. Most importantly, you
should forgive her for not being in her right mind (that’s forgiving yourself). If you are involved with someone don’t leave them, stay with them and give the relationship some time (space) to grow. Remember, some flowers grow slower than others. If you’re single, it depends on how you feel. Maybe you want to take time (space) for yourself. There is nothing wrong with being by yourself and growing your own true-self. If you want to go back with her, communicate with her and let her know what you
are looking for in a relationship. If you disagree, great. If you agree, great. No matter what, there is a teaching and lesson in everything you do – usually. Now, if you start dating and the same pattern comes up, communicate one more time. If she doesn’t understand, love her even more then before and move on again. You don’t have to make other people your problem. Let them have their road of living and learning, you don’t have to make it yours. The road is windy enough. You loved and forgave and now you can move on. Once again, how you treated her is simply the reflection of you. You are
loved and forgiven.
This is my perspective and that of the universe.
The man and woman in the relationship were meant to be together during this time to learn their own individual life-lessons at the same time. So this relationship was perfection all along! They just didn’t see or understand the life-lessons for themselves. We will always find ourselves wondering and asking, “Why is life (the universe) always against me?”
It’s not. You are acting against yourself by not listening. The universe is always serving you.
-James John
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